wedding regrets

Recently, I polled a group of my married friends in New Orleans to see what they would change about their wedding day.  As expected, I didn’t get any giant regrets—it’s hard to mess up what is likely the biggest party you will ever have, with all of your friends and family in one space, celebrating you and your spouse starting a new life together.  But, there’s always something to learn from those that have been there.  

Not delegating.  One of the biggest issues brides have is not letting go of the details.  It can be stressful to relinquish control of all your plans (more so for certain people, like me), but you will enjoy the day so much more if you don’t try to take care of everything yourself.  To avoid the stress of letting go, make a detailed written plan with your wedding coordinator and/or other designated helper, so that you feel comfortable knowing everyone else will take care of their respective roles.  

Not planning photos.  Some brides will hand their photographer dozens of Pinterest shots that they want to recreate, while others take a more laid back approach.  Your wedding photographer is likely a pro, but it's a good idea to think about the shots that you will want to have, and the shots that you will actually use. Communicate with your photographer and really think about what you want to get out of your wedding photos.

Over-packing your wedding décor. Bringing too much to the reception hall is an extremely common mistake.  Just like over-packing a suitcase, it’s tempting to pack up everything that you could ever possibly use, when you really only need a fraction of it.  This ends up creating chaos in unpacking and setting up.  If you are doing a lot of your own wedding décor, pack it up and label by tables/locations.  This way, everything you are packing has a purpose and a place, and can be easily unloaded and set-up.  

Disagreeing with family. It’s common for weddings to create family tension— hurt feelings when ideas are ignored, people feeling left-out, people feeling overworked… Mostly, these feelings are the result of everyone caring so much about making the day perfect.   Although it’s your day, it’s also a huge deal for the people that got you there.  And, it’s worth recognizing that the happiness of the one’s you love will probably have a direct result on your own happiness that day.  Plan ways to include your parents and your groom’s parents, and consider giving in to them on a few little details that aren’t at the top of your priority list. 

My personal regret—not practicing the first dance.  When all eyes are on you, those three to four minutes seem like a lifetime!  

Why Hire a Wedding Planner?

On the fence about hiring a planner? Here are my three top reasons: 

1) So you, and your family, enjoy the wedding more.  No doubt about it, a wedder planner will help you, and your family members, enjoy the planning process and the wedding more.  Having a planner allows you to take part in the fun aspects of planning: choosing vendors, decor, details, and all the ways you personalize your wedding.  Planners are there to do the parts that you don't want to do. When you're the bride, even if you make it to the weekend of the wedding with no hired help, you don't have time to do what needs to be done. This means that someone is taking over for you, likely a mother, sister, or close friend. Someone has to set up the ceremony and reception sites while you are getting ready.  Someone has to make sure all your vendors arrive timely.  Someone has to make sure your programs and rings make it to ceremony. Someone has to gather your extended family for photos. Someone has to do the most hated job of all after you've exited with your new spouse--taking down and packing up all those decorations, flowers, gifts, cards, cake, etc.  A planner will save you and your family the stress and work, so everyone enjoys the whole weekend.

2) To save your budget. Wedding planners, unlike photographers, florists, etc., provide, for the most part, an intangible service. You are paying for the time they put into the event, the hours thinking and dreaming about how your details will come together, visualizing the end product, setting those details in motion, bringing together countless vendors, and seeing the plans through. If you are wondering if the cost of a planner is worth it, or if you can fit it into your budget, consider this--a good planner should help you save money elsewhere.  A planner will know the best vendors for your budget and style, and provide recommendations to you. They will often know up-and-coming vendors that aren't yet on popular advertising sites, offering great services at a lower cost.  They will know all the little hidden costs that you otherwise may not have allocated for in your budget.  They will have a plan for your décor helping you avoid the tendency to buy non-stop, for things you don't need.  They will know the décor rental market in your area, and can give you advice on when to rent versus when to buy.

3) To execute your ideas.  Planners spend everyday immersed in weddings. Whether on Instagram or Pinterest, designing their own photo shoots, or designing weddings, they are up to date on current trends, and more importantly, they know how to bring to life your inspiration photos in your particular venue and budget. That centerpiece you love may look great in the photo you see, but that may get lost in your venue. A good planner is an expert in color and scale, and will translate your ideas into something that will work for your specific venue. They will give you suggestions and recommendations on what will make the most impact--where to spend and where to save.  This will maximize your budget, to make sure your wedding looks the very best it can for what you have to spend. 

Planning a wedding in New Orleans? Give me a buzz!

Moving Away from the "Two-Color" Color Scheme

If you are engaged, you have probably already gotten the question—what are your colors? While traditionally a bride would pick two colors, a palette of only two colors can result in an overall finished look that may lack complexity and sophistication.  The “two-color” theme may be a simple way to make your wedding look uniform and cohesive, but there are ways to use color, and to use other decor, that will achieve that same goal of uniformity for a more sophisticated looking space.

Here is a four-step formula to move away from a “two-color” wedding, and create an impact that reads as simply beautiful.  Remember, though—this is just one possibility, as there are endless possibilities for the use of color in wedding design.  

1. Choose one color “family”

Pick a color you like.  A fall wedding brings to mind images of the deep reds found in autumn leaves.  The beauty of nature lies in the multitude of color shades, and how those shades work together. It’s impossible to find a tree, or a single leaf for that matter, that exhibits only one shade of any particular color.  So, if you want to go with red, for example, try using three or four shades or red, ranging from deep maroon to true red to mauve, so that you have a color family, and not just a color. 

Florals are an obvious and great place to start with using these colors.  Other ways to bring in your color family include the ribbons tied on bouquets, party favors, or your bridesmaid’s dresses.  Ombre bridesmaids dresses are having a moment, so try having your stylist create this look using different shades of one color family.  Bonus points for letting your bridal party pick their own shade!

2. Add in the “neutrals”

Green is a great neutral for weddings, as it will likely be exhibited in floral arrangements throughout your ceremony and event space, tying everything together.  While not your traditional idea of a “neutral,” it will act as such in floral arrangements. However, be careful in using green in other ways and places, or it can lose its properties as a “neutral” and look out of place with the rest of your color family (unless you are going for a green color family!)

For the remaining use of neutrals, shades of white & cream always work for weddings, and all of these shades look great not only with other colors, they look great together! Use these neutrals for the tablecloths, napkins, candles, cake, and some filler flowers.  Sticking with neutrals for the basics such as the table linens allows your other colors to shine.  Neutrals also look very sophisticated for the bridal party!  

If you are going for a more rustic look, natural wood elements, twine, and burlap are great neutrals.  Burlap runners can be used over a white tablecloth, or over a beautiful naked wood table.  Twine can be mixed in to tie your arrangements and fasten boutonnieres, and you can go crazy on Pinterest figuring out ways to incorporate wood elements into the design!

3. Pick a metallic…or two.

Metallics themselves are a neutral—you can mix them with any color for an elegant and upscale look.  Silver, gold, rose gold, bronze, and copper can be used to complement any color scheme. Recently, mercury glass has made a big comeback on Pinterest, with DIY potential, and can be a great use of metallics.  Bring metallics into your design in the form of vases, candlesticks, napkin holders, silverware, favors, or confetti throws.

4. Disperse use of color family throughout the space and repeat “themes” for uniformity

When you look at your reception space, you want the eye to move around the room, taking in the space as a whole.  Make sure your color family is distributed evenly about the space.  Typically, your table layout will help with this, as your main floral arrangements will be located on tables dispersed around the room.  Apart from the guest table set-up, include use of your color family in the welcome table/section, cake table, and some smaller arrangements at your food table/bar.

As color isn’t the only way to make your design cohesive, choose various “themes” and repeat throughout the space.  For example, you can use a “theme” of clear glass vases for your arrangements, but mix up shape, size, and height for interest, and repeat throughout the space (some examples of other types of vase “themes”—brass, silver, milk glass, mercury glass, ceramics).  You can use a larger glass vase by itself for a table arrangement, and on another table, use several small glass arrangements to create an overall look on the same scale.  Vary the shapes of the glass for even more interest, including round and square, so that the floral arrangements themselves are different shapes.  Another “theme” that can be repeated and lend to uniformity are candles—stick with a neutral white or cream, but mix up the style around the room with the use of pillars, votives, and taper candles.  

There you have it--four simple steps to create a unified wedding design using color and other elements!